Wish List

When you are a little girl, and you start thinking about your dream house, you imagine certain things. My dream house was a circa 1800's farmhouse with hardwood floors, a fireplace in all 5 of 18x20ft bedrooms, clawfoot tubs in all of the bathrooms (at least 3, preferably 4), a quaint powder room downstairs, a large basement to serve as a game room with a pool table, dart board, wet bar (that transitioned from a soft serve ice cream machine to soda fountain to wet bar as I grew older), and entertainment center. Add a huge gourmet kitchen with an island in the middle and one of those great pot racks over it. It would be set kind of far off the road, with a long, winding driveway, a white split rail fence, and maybe a horse or two in the front meadow with a medium sized red barn in the background.

When I was in my early 20s, my dream home was an amazing loft style apartment in the middle of a huge city. Again, it would had to have hardwood floors, claw foot tubs, etc. Throw in exposed brick walls, secure off street parking, stainless steel appliances, built in bookshelves, walk-in closets, a fireplace, exposed wood beams and duct work, a workout facility and huge windows overlooking the city.

I'm 28 and a homeowner. My dream house now includes a second bathroom and a closet larger that an average sized coffin.

Is this what they mean by growing up?

Busy as a Bee

I'm incredibly busy right now. I'm really not complaining, more just amazed at the amount of traveling I'm doing.

1. Terrance and I went on vacation for a whole week. That is the longest amount of time we have been away for together since we met. I have to admit, I was a little nervous. Seven days not really talking to another person (except waiters and check out clerks at the supermarket). Seven straight days. One hundred and sixty eight hours. The trip started out a little rocky. I woke up at 3AM convinced that the dogs were going to get out while the pet sitters were here. I do this a lot, wake up in the middle of the night and become fixated on some irrational fear. Only, on this particular Saturday morning, at six in the morning, Leo and Baxter decided to do some rounds in the neighborhood, forever changing what we call my middle of the night obsessions from 'irrational fears' to 'premonitions'. Terrance and I were running around, in the dark, following the sound of our dogs making the neighborhood dogs bark. Sadie, the misbehaving puppy, not the issue - it was our older, more well behaved dogs that wanted to remind us that they know what those suitcases mean and they are NOT going to take it. After getting the dogs back and, um, securing the yard, we left. The week was great - we walked on the beach, laid in the sun, discovered the area, ate and drank too much. Basically everything you are supposed to do on vacation. We didn't want to come back. Terrance even decided he wants to be a sailor. Just call him Cappy T. I had to talk him down from buying a sailboat. because the one thing we really need right now is a boat payment. The trip was also a way to celebrate our first anniversary. I know it's supposed to be a big milestone, but I really didn't doubt we'd make it.

This is our anniversary brunch - I've never had a bottle of champagne at a restaurant before - very adult.

Before we took a little ferry to a little island with wild horses.

Aforementioned wild horses.

We went to Emerald Isle, NC and explored the Crystal Coast. Emerald Isle is great if you have a family, but if you want a grown up vacation, I more recommend staying further north, in Atlantic Beach or Beaufort. Much more to do. Terrance and I are both nerdy history people, so we enjoyed Beaufort (North Carolina's third oldest town) a lot.

2. I went to Indianapolis for Labor Day weekend.

I left after work on Friday (I work until noon on Friday because I work until 8PM on Mondays). I got up there at around 9PM. My best friend from Indy, Sarah, and her husband, Jason, had a little boy about 7 months ago. His name is Kingston. I have to admit, I'm not one of those girls who looks at a baby and think "I need one of those". In fact, babies scare the hell out of me. The fragility, the responsibility. When my friends have had babies in the past, I would shy away. When all the other girls in the room wanted to hold the baby, I stood in the back of the group, half watching the baby and half watching the other girls, wondering why I didn't want to do that too. Anyway, Kingston was adorable and wonderful. He's such a happy baby. I've never seen a baby that smiles that much. And, to my shock, holding him wasn't really all that scary. It was kind of fun. Maybe I am a girl, after all... I saw some really good friends that I haven't seen in forever. Spent one night out at the bars - which was enough. It's amazing how much growing up changes you. When I used to go up there, we would go out Friday, Saturday, and Sunday night (it was a holiday weekend). This time, I didn't want to go out more than once. I realized that I still miss Indy though. A little more than I thought. I had a good group of friends there. It's not that I feel as though I took them for granted when I lived there, it's more that I took it for granted after I moved. I let those friendships fade. It's something I'm not very happy about, but hope to fix. I feel like I've had a big summer of rebuilding friendships. If Margaret taught me anything, it's that you should value your friendships and keep them strong, not just because life is short and you don't want to miss anything, but because she was so good at that. One phone call to Margaret and you would know how everyone was doing. We'd all do good to have that little bit of Margaret in us. Back to the trip - it was great. I came back with about 5 more pounds and over 1,000 miles on the car. Good times.

Started working with these people back in February 2004 - the Intimidators. Intimidating people into healthy behaviors.

Me with Kingston. Um, not to brag, but I made him that pot. I mean, I didn't MAKE it make it, like on a potter's wheel or anything, but I painted it.

3. Terrance and I are going to the mountains this weekend. A couple of years ago, my parents bought a house in the mountains of Tennessee. It's about 20 minutes from the North Carolina border and 30 minutes from anything to do. No cable, questionable cell phone service, I love it. I wish we made it up there more often - the way my work schedule coincides with Terrance's, we don't have enough time off together to make the drive worth it. Plus, with three dogs at home, it's either an expensive pet sitter bill or an anxiety attack inducing drive - neither of which we can afford often. There is a festival in Elizabethton this weekend that my parent's got us tickets to for Terrance's birthday - pet sitting included. Looking very forward to it. It is a Celtic festival. I'm mostly Irish and Terrance is Super Scottish. Seriously, I think his blood might be plaid. He's trying to break into the highland games circuit (why, on earth, you would want to throw a telephone pole is not for me to judge. Seems like a waste of energy to me). He, needless to say, is quite excited.
Terrance's Alter Ego

4. At the end of the month, I will go to Asheville to attend the 100th annual North Carolina Public Health Association conference. I'm quite excited. The conference is being held at the very swanky conference center with a spa and a grotto. If I were going to try and stay there on my own, I'd be paying at least $300 a night. Unfortunately, by the time I figured out that I was able to go, budget wise, and got approval, all of the conference rate rooms were sold out. But, I get o stay off site, which means there's less of a chance of having to be 'on' at night. And the place I'm staying is this adorable bed and breakfast with wine and hors d' veoures everyday from 4 to 6. The conference looks great - there are a couple of time blocks where there are 3 or 4 sessions I want to see, so I'm hoping that I can plan my attack during happy hour the first night. :). The problem with this conference, in particular, is that it's usually quite clinic based and not too much health education. This year, it's very different. I'm a nerd who is very excited about going to 25 sessions over 3 days. I'll have to prioritize them and make sure I get to the good ones early so that they don't fill up...

5. I'm also going to the mountains with some girlfriends at the end of the month. It's going to be fun to get away. I think we might try and hike part of the Appalachian Trail and make a fire pit in the yard and roast marshmallows. There -might- also be some wine involved.

I also have meetings in Chapel Hill and Winston-Salem, and a smaller conference to go to in Greensboro. Between the August 22 and October 3, I will have spent one weekend at home, and on that Saturdaythat I'll actually be in the 704, I'll be working a festival which means I'll be at work from about 6 am to 5 pm if it's anything like last year. Also during that time, 43 days, I will have slept in my own bed 21 nights. I'm certainly not complaining about having a job, so don't think that. I'm just sort of very appreciative of my bed and my home and my routine that, while it can get a little boring if it goes on too long, can also be quite comforting.


Home Sweet Home

so, Terrance is out of town. I'm not (nor have I ever been) the type of girl who needs a man. I even like being by myself sometimes, even now. Having 100% control of the remote, with no eye rolls or sighs because I want to watch something trashy, is really fun. All that being said, I miss him. Usually, when we're apart, I'm the one that has gone somewhere. I'm never the one left behind. I don't like it. It certainly wasn't for lack of things to do - I went out Friday with friends and could have gone out Saturday (if I hadn't gone on a crazy cleaning spree). It's Sunday night that you really realize how much you like having someone here. And I really miss my certain someone. Sundays are very routine for us. Terrance works until about 2. I clean and go shopping. He comes home, I make a big dinner, we watch a movie or some VH1 reality show and then go to bed. I love it. I guess it just hit me, as the reality shows are starting to air, how much I enjoy our silly traditions and the patterns we've fallen into. I know some people might read this and think how sad my life is, that I'm stuck in a rut, that things really do change when you move to the suburbs. The thing is, when you've found the person who makes you want to sit at home rather than go out and do anything else, it never feels like a rut.

getting buff

I love this quote:

“Abs are for people with no friends. I don’t do the ab thing. I’ve even had them once, actually, for a film, and they were always covered up. I just said to myself, ‘Well, I’ll just never do that again.’ That was a waste of time. There’s so much more to enjoy in life.” -- Eric Bana, on why he doesn't stress out too much about working out for a role (Access Hollywood)

I am 100% PRO exercising and eating right for health reasons. Too often we get caught up in the vanity of it all. I include myself in this (no matter what I preach to people). I feel like I've spent my whole life on a diet. And to be quite honest, I'm exhausted. At least now I get that I wouldn't be better if I was a size 6. I think life would be easier, given the constraints put on women in society based on their appearance, but it wouldn't make me a better person. If my legs are big because it means I can run, or I don't have perfect abs (lets be honest, with me it's any form of recognizable abdominal muscles that can be seen without the use of some sort of fancy medical imaging equipment) because I let myself indulge in an extra beer with friends or have a cookie, it really was OK. I'm never going to fit into the skinny sterotype. And finally, to my surprise, I find that there are more days that I don't care than there are days that I do.

TGI blankin F

What a week. So much stuff happened.

We'll start with the most exciting - I had a good week at work! I'm working on a few projects right now that I'm super excited about. I have a wellness program for the school system in the works. If you didn't know, planning a wellness program for such a big group is a bit of an undertaking (nothing this CHES can't handle, mind you, but kind of a huge deal :)). There will be lots of walking and eating better in a few educators' futures. One of the parts of my job is to lead a community coalition dedicated to improving health disparities in our county. One of the areas we work with is chronic disease prevention, which includes fitness and nutrition. Using a grant, we'll be providing pedometers, walking logs, monthly newsletters, food journals, and lots of quality health education to the participants. I'm hoping for about 1,000 people to be registered, so it's really exciting. I'm also working on coordinating with the local community college to get some nursing students a public health rotation as part of their ADN. Usually, ADN students don't get the benefit of learning about health departments while they're students, so this is really great. (For those of you reading this out of NC, the health department system here is run a little differently than most places. Local health departments run full clinics - adult health, child health, family planning, immunization, etc. There's also a health department in most every county, where in some places it's a regional thing. In a lot places the health department is really just where people who need a vaccine or an STI test go. In NC, it's a low cost care option for those who might not be able to afford to go to a doctor). Anyway, I'll be able to help these students get some experience. Do you think "adjunct off campus professor at local community college" is pushing it for my resume update? I mean, I'm technically not teaching them a thing, but I think I can spin it like that...

I got some pretty shocking family news this week too. I don’t really feel right going into the specifics of it all and I don't pretend to have the perfect marriage (though I feel pretty good about mine right now), but I just feel like if you marry someone, you owe them the respect of communication and a conversation. If you stand up in front of everyone you love and tell this person it's forever, you at least owe them that. I guess it made me realize what a good thing I have. I'm not perfect, and neither is my husband, but we do pretty well for ourselves, if I do say so myself. I can't really imagine my life without him.

For Terrance’s birthday, I told him I would watch all the Harry Potter movies. He likes him a lot. The books, the movies. He’d be the grand marshal of the muggle parade during the quidditch cup if given the chance, in a heart beat. I’m not a Potter fan. I’m, to my surprise, enjoying them. I finished goblet of fire last night. It was good.

A few months ago, I asked some of the girls at work if they wanted to run a 5K. I wanted to get back into running and we were all in need of a goal, so we formed a little running group. It's great. We were of all different ability levels when it came to running, so I wasn't quite sure what to expect. Our training started out running 60 seconds straight. We're now on week 9 and we're up to 30 minutes. I'm so proud of us - we'll be running in the Susan G Komen Race for Cure in Charlotte on October 3. If you're in the area, you should come out and cheer for us. I'll be the one with the really red face who looks like she's having some sort of major cardiac event. Pretty.

OK, I better go run! 5K aside, I have the motivation that we’re leaving for the beach in 15 days. I’ve got way too many lady lumps for a bathing suit right now!

A very touching episode of Biography

I realized yesterday, after my rant after work, that I should have started the blog, first post, with a little bit about us (well, more me. We'll get to Terrance later.). I figure if someone stumbles upon this who hasn't seen or heard from me in a while, they might be curious. I mean, everyone scours the Internet looking for clues about people who were in their life at one point or another, right? No? Just me? Oh well, here you go:

Kelly's life in a nutshell:

After high school (and if you need to know further back than that, ask), I attended the University of North Carolina at Wilmington. It was fabulous, made great friends, loved it, etc, etc. I think everyone should live by the ocean one at least once in their life. To this day, nothing brings me back to center like sitting on a beach watching the waves. It's downright spiritual.

After college, I decided I would take the first job I got, no matter where it was. I wanted to be in a big city, by the water, with a good mass transportation system. Somewhere I could create my own "Sex and the City" in. I applied in New York, Boston, Seattle, Chicago, Washington. I ended up in Indianapolis. No water. Not much bigger than Charlotte. NO MASS TRANSPORTATION. But, it was the best thing. Moving somewhere on your own where you know no one in a 650 mile radius and making it is a good thing. The first day was weird, but then I started my job. My workplace was made up of about 20 people, the oldest of which was 30. My boss was 25. It was like college again, only we all had bigger pay checks and our own apartments. I had a blast. I would not give back my time in Indy for anything. I made some wonderful friends who I still speak with regularly. I was having a blast, making my own Indianapolis version of "Sex and the City" happen. I was sitting at work one day and my phone rang. It was my mom, and I almost sent it to voicemail, but picked it up at the last minute. My father was in the hospital, hanging on.

It was the scariest phone call I have ever gotten. My father's health wasn't great. He had his first heart attack at 45, and while years of smoking and eating poorly didn't help, he does have a major genetic factor at work here. Every male on his side of the family has died from something heart related. His brother has congestive heart failure. As he does. (Not that I let him off the hook for smoking and eating poorly. I think he called me the drill sergeant for a while...) He was in the CCU for 5 days, and in the hospital for an addition 2. I made it home the first night, thanks to the lovely people at USAirways and my mother's frequent flier miles. I was spooked. I decided to move home. Before, being so far away and on my own had been independent and freeing, now it just seemed uncomfortable and scary. After a little over 2 years in Indy, I moved home.

I regretted it almost immediately. My job fell threw, I was living back at home, and I was a flippin Barista at Starbucks, catering to all the kids that made me feel invisible in high school. AS they ordered their skinny latte with no whip. I wanted to scream to them that I had done something with my life, I had seen things. Instead, all I could do was smile and ask if they had heard about our new drink, the banana frappachino. Not that they remembered me from high school, anyway. Eventually, things got better. I found a job (local health department), moved out, and lived in a big city townhouse in downtown Charlotte. Thing were starting to turn around, though I missed my Indy friends terribly. Surprisingly, during the 7 years since I had graduated high school, my local friends had not sat around waiting for me. They had gone on with their own lives. Made different friends even. The nerve. I was lonely.

The internationally recognized symbol of the cult of Starbucks. Because it's weird there.

Jess, a friend from the dub, came down one night. We had drink at my place before hand, talked about how we liked being single, had more drinks, and went out. At the first place, we got drinks. The rest of the night is kind of fuzzy, because there was no food with those aforementioned drinks, but I met Terrance, a SWM not looking for anything serious. He's a chef (bonus). By the end of the night, I had:

1. told Terrance I loved him. A lot. Because finding out that the guy who sits next to you in a bar knows (not even likes a lot, but just knows) your favorite band is a perfectly good reason to drop the L bomb.

2. initiated our first kiss. I'm sure observers probably thought I was trying to eat his face. It was romantic, really. Sweet.

3. decided that I was going to marry that guy. If only I can remember his name...

The dude

We had an actual date the next day (it was supposed to be lunch, but I was, um, tired...), and then the day after that. I think since we met of all the days we've been in the same city, we've spent about 3 apart. And they sucked. After six months, Terrance and I moved in together, 2 weeks later we got our first dog, Leo, and 2 weeks after that he proposed. We got married a year later, bought our first house 2 months after that. Along the way, we've picked up 2 more dogs. Baxter's a permanent resident, Sadie's just passing through on her way to her forever home.

This is what happens when you court in a bar...

My favorite picture of from the wedding.

Our house, all decorated for Christmas

Leo and Baxter in their awesome St. Patrick's Day costumes.

So that's my recent history in a nutshell. Hope you enjoy.

Frustration

How hard is to commit to something and stick with it? I mean, really? Something that matters. Like your health...

My job, compared to most things, is fairly easy. I'll admit it. I don't have all that much to complain about. I have a couple of times a year that are hard and busy, but most of the time, I can get it done without problem. The balance of someone's life is never in my hands, and I'm rarely the person in charge of anything. Anything important, I mean. I don't get paid a ton for what I do, but I chose this because I love it. I love public health. And I love what I do, when I actually get to do it. I like feeling like I've made a difference in someone's life. Today, I took the time out of my schedule to stay late to teach a class. A weekly class. A weekly weight loss class. A free weekly weight loss class with incentive provided for participants if they keep up with it. There are 23 people enrolled in this class. 3 showed up. In the world of lifestyle and behavior changes, they are failing. Is that my fault? What am I supposed to do? I can not hold their hand and make them do anything. Nor do I feel like that's my job. I give you the tools, you make the change. That was the deal from the beginning...

...but, honestly, if you can't hang with me for a mere four months with prizes included, how the hell do you ever expect to be successful after this is all done with?

I saw one of my 'drop outs' at the grocery store before class, when I was picking up the fruit tray for class. She told me she's just, you know, lost motivation. Her cart was filled with Little Debbies and potato chips. This is a woman who told me 4 weeks ago that she couldn't get health insurance because of her weight and the problems associated with it.

Is that not supposed to piss me off? I am a LIBERAL democrat. I am 100% for nationalized health care. I think the risks are worth the fact that the millions of uninsured Americans who can't get health care right now would be able to. Hell, I even think illegal immigrants should get it. Because a communicable disease doesn't give a shit if you have a green card. But this woman who refuses to change her behavior would get it. It's not fair.
(please, no hate comments about that last part. I have my views, you have yours. You're not going to talk me out of them)

And how am I supposed to explain this to the people in Chapel Hill who have provided everything for this? The class is part of a study through UNC and the CDC... statistically, what three people do, unless they are part of a population of six, don't really matter for much.

Today, my job is hard. Because it's 7:45 and I just got off work and I didn't change a thing. Which is the whole reason I do this.

BLOG Day One

I've made a decision today. I'm going to be a blogger. I have some friends that do and I like it. I'm not quite sure if I'm important enough to do this. I feel like I need a reason to blog, and we don't have kids (at least the human kind) yet, so I'm not quite sure if anyone will care to read this. But I'm putting it out there, just in case.

We've been married almost a year. Thats crazy! And, longer than we dated :). It's been a fun year - bought our first house, got another dog.

We've been talking about moving a lot lately. No time soon, but eventually. I've always said I wanted to live in Boston, but I'm wondering if thats the best thing. My new favorite thing to do is look at real estate that I have no intention of buying. I'm finding myself drawn to farms and the country more than the city. Why is this? Am I growing up? Thinking about kids? The thing is, I either want to raise my kids in the city or the country... NOT the suburbs. Suburbs have no life to them. They're manufactured images of what people think they want out of a community. I think I really liked where I lived in Virginia before we moved to North Carolina. Rolling hills and the ability to let your child go outside and play without worrying. When we left there, my parents had to look for the housekeys. No one we knew ever locked their car door, so my father, in his infinite wisdom, would turn the radio up, the windsheild wipers on, etc. It was his calling card. I also like the idea of being about to go out the door and walk my child to the museum or to get something to eat. The culture available in and urban setting is appealing too. Perhaps I should work on figuring out if we're ready for the child first, before worrying about where they'll be raised.

A few things I'm working on that I'll update:
-getting in to grad school
-running a half marathon (maybe!)
-getting out of debt (timely, don't you think?)