I've been steadily gaining weight since my fight with the parking lot. Not being able to exercise makes it hard to lose weight. You know what else makes it hard to lose weight? Eating whatever you want even though you know that you have been genetically blessed with the metabolism of a pachyderm. I weighed myself Wednesday and was horrified at the number looking back at me. I turned around to make sure there wasn't a small child standing on the scale with me. Not that there was room for a child on the scale, but still. I've always been scared to join anything because I feel like I shouldn't need it. I'm a health educator. I know what I'm doing. I actually teach people how to do this. But I've also always, for as long as I can remember, had a problem with my weight. I've never been morbidly obese, but at my lightest, I was what the kiddos call "thick" (and jiggly, for that matter). And despite what my wonderfully blind husband says, I'm not perfect and I do need to lose weight. I don't want to be a size 6. Hell, I wasn't born a size 6. But I'd be really happy if I didn't have to shop at plus sized store or if, in regular sized stores, I didn't automatically have to reach way on the back of the rack only to discover that my size, the largest offered, has been sold out. So, Wednesday, I took a long look in the mirror (I had to back up a bit to get all of me to reflect back), and decided to do something about it. I signed up for Weight Watchers online. I'm still getting used to the "points". The new program is called PointsPlus - it calculates points based on fat, carbs, protein, and fiber. Its a new thing to count - over the years I've tried low carb, low fat, low calorie, high fiber,... I'm not sure I like the fact that you have to figure our points, but it seems to be working. I have to resolve not to talk to everyone about it all the time - people are going to stop talking to me if I don't find new subject matter. My goal is to lose 30 pounds by my 30th birthday. That still won't be my dream weight, but at least is will get me close to what I weighed when I met Terrance. I know its a big goal. I know that I might not lose that. But I need a goal.
So, there I was on Wednesday, January 21, 2011. 10:27am. Age: 29. Weight: 206.5lbs.
Its out there. Public. Now I have to do something about it.
