Friday, September 11, 2015

9/11 is a tough day for me.


 I had no more a connection to the attacks than the next person; I didn’t know anyone who died personally. I had been to the Twin Towers just once, and it had already become a memory that existed simply because people told me I had done it. None of that matters, of course. The point was to hurt us all. And it did hurt me.

Life can be now divided for so many of us into before and after. So much of the ramifications permeate our daily lives that it’s hard to remember the before.

It was my junior year in Wilmington. I was the last one to leave that day. I was standing in the kitchen of our house on Chestnut Street, watching Good Morning America while I ate a bowl of cereal before class. The sky in New York was so blue.  Charlie Gibson reported that there had been an accident, that a plane had crashed into the twin towers. It was all so innocent. There was not anxiety, no pretense. Just reporting a weird occurrence. The pilot must have had a heart attack. The plane malfunctioned.  They cut to the Towers about 30 seconds before the second plane hit.  I dropped my spoon and it bounced on the floor as the anchors came to the realization that we were under attack.

I spent the next week on the couch, obsessing over the coverage.  Calling everyone I know to tell them I love them.  Wondering how this could happen. How could people hate so much? We were all a little hardened that day.  In the after, life is less innocent.  

14 years since 9/11 and I can’t really talk about it without crying. As I type these words, my eyes have welled up with tears. It’s a different world, the after. 


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