No jokes today. Sad.

That was my facebook status today. Today the Boston Marathon got bombed. Today is Margaret's birthday. Today I am sad.

It started about a week ago. 1800flowers.com wanted to know if I wanted to send Margaret flowers for her birthday. My phone dinged and I read the email and thought about how Margaret would have loved some birthday daisies. And then I shoved it to the back of my mind, where she lives all the time now. Then this morning, facebook asked if I wanted to send her a Starbucks gift card for her birthday. And as a tear ran down my cheek, I smiled because Margaret would have hated that. She hated "the man." She would have loved a gift card to a small, locally owned coffee house that had an open mic night on Fridays. But she would have hated a Starbucks gift card  And then my day went on and I reminisced with myself on my lunch break about some good times. It's easier to feel her when the weather is nice. She loved to be out doors.

And then around 3pm, I checked my phone and buzzfeed told me there was an explosion at the Boston Marathon. No, two explosions. A bomb? And there were people hurt. Badly. And casualties. And I watched the story unfold with a detached awe that I feel like everyone in my generation feels.

We watched Columbine and Virginia Tech and Aurora and Gabby Giffords and Newtown.
We watched Oklahoma City.
We watched the Towers fall.

It happens so often and, while nothing of this nature has shocked me in a very long time, every time it happens, it punches me in the stomach. Every time it happens, I ask why. We post tributes online and Instgrams and we change our facebook profile pictures and we cry and we hope it never happens again.

Because what else is there but to do that and tell the people you love you love them and hope upon hope that its the last one?

I really hope this is the last one.

No jokes today. I'm sad.

#prayforboston