Saturday, November 26, 2011

Stressed spelled backwards...

I wrote that last post as a draft and forgot to publish it. So now I'm in a blogging mood again and will just have 2 posts for the day. I am still currently stressed about the following things:

1. selling our house and not losing a ton of money. The sad thing is, for as much as I complain about this place, I honestly like it. I liked it the minute we looked at it before we bought it and I still like it now. Its home. Do I love the fact that its a shoe box with one bathroom and closets the size of coffins? No. Do I love the fact that its on a busy road that we wouldn't ever be able to take our (hypothetical) kids trick or treating on and that leads to a lot of noise? No. Do I love the fact that the kitchen makes me claustrophobic? No. Do I love the fact that this very busy street is also the home to 2 shit shops and a meth house? No. But I do love it. I had plans for this place. Additions (a master suite and a den with a kitchen and laundry expansion), yard work (level out the yard to the big tree and then put a retaining wall in with steps down to an english garden), home improvements (finish the hardwoods in all rooms and retile the kitchen and bath). This place could have been my dream home. It makes me sad to think about leaving and even sadder that this place is going to have to sell for so cheap. It's worth more than that, dammit. But, unfortunately, the market that we were told was at the bottom when we bought (I remember hearing the phrase "there's no way you won't MAKE money on that place" more than once) has hit about 14 new bottoms since then and the value of our house has fallen each time. So now, we're underwater. Deep enough to need scuba gear. Gear which we can't afford.

2. Getting a new job. This one is sort of like a double edged sword (not sure if thats the right metaphor... I think I'm looking for a damned if I do, damned if I don't type of thing. I'll explain). Never one to walk away from a pay check and health insurance, I have always maintained the position that I will not move until I have a job, with the stipulation that I will revisit my stance in 6 months because I don't think living apart for that long is good for marriages if you have the choice. Staying and moving have me stressed out. Why? I'll tell you. Lets start with a little background about local and state economies. Because of the recession and the housing bubble and all other things related to the country going to shit lately, local economies are suffering. In NC, this means that the state government (which is poor) can go to the counties (which are also poor) and take their tax revenue in order to balance the budget. It is against the law in NC for NC to not have a balanced budget. I'm not sure who would enforce this law, but apparently, its enough of a threat for the state to raid the county coffers, which brings us to the fact that Lincoln County is poor. I'm lucky I have a job this year. And I know I'm lucky because I almost lost it last year and have been told that there isn't enough money to pay me next year. I have frustrations about this that I could write 5 page blogs about and not really crack the surface of why I feel this is wrong, on many levels, but I also understand that anyone could come across this blog and they might not think what I had to say was nice, so I'll just leave it at the fact that it sucks and isn't fair. So, if I stay, I don't have a job. Now, to Ohio. The governor of Ohio is a conservative guy. He was able to balance the budget, which I give him credit for. Have you driven through Canton lately? Ohio has been hard hit by this recession. You know how he did it? He cut aid to the municipalities. Municipalities which I would like to look for a job in, but none of them are hiring because they don't have money. So, I don't have a job if I go. No jobs. No pay. No insurance. Awesome.

3. The end of the school semester. I have a lot to do. I could go over all the details, but I won't. Its just your run of the mill, end of the semester blues. Wo, wo, wo, wooooo.

4. BIG state report due. This week. Running out of time. Statistics are my friend.

So stressed spelled backwards is desserts, which is all I've been indulging in the deal with all of this stress, which brings me to #5: I'm super stressed because my pants don't fit.

I am thankful that Terrance got to come home for 4 days and spend time with me. I wish I didn't have so much school work to do while he was here.

That's all for now. Namaste.

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