Lent

As most people who know me know, I was raised an NPC (Non-praciticing Catholic). My mother, was protestant so she encouraged church after my sister and I were baptised catholic but didn't push and my parochially educated father was so turned off by the church after it was shoved down his throat that he had no use for it. His philosophy on church was somewhere around we should go, but not too much. I can remember summers where the family goal was to go to church 2 times a month. Twice. And we often failed. I went through communion when I was supposed to, was confirmed in high school and so I am, for all intents and puposes, a catholic. My political views prevent me from respecting much of what the church offers today, but I'm stuck in this realm of guilt about not wanting to completely turn my back on the religion that I have half assed for most of my life (I experimented a little in high school and college, but it never stuck). Or maybe I'm afraid I won't have as many jokes if I become protestant. Anyway, Terrance is Lutheran (if you want to call him anything) but doesn't really practice anything. We know we're christian in our house but that's about as far as it goes. Because not getting married in a church wasn't really much of an option as far as our families go (and, when it comes this part of the wedding, you do what the people who are paying for the thing tell you to do), we stumbled upon the Episcopal Church. It's nice there. It offers both of us a little of what we grew up with. I like it because it's just like the catholic church without the homophobia, judgement, or guilt.

My whole point in giving you this brief history of my spirituality is that yesterday marked the first day of Lent. During this time, catholics and other christians give up something for 40 days before Easter to represent Jesus' struggles in the desert. It starts 46 days before because you're allowed to indulge on Sundays, the day of celebration. I decided to jump in this year and really try to make it through. I've tried before in recent years, but have always failed miserably (my running joke is that I'm giving up meat. I've been a vegetarian since 1990.) But what to give up? I have trouble thinking of anything that wouldn't also be for personal gain - anything food related would help me in my never ending quest to fit into smaller pants, if I gave up facebook, it would only result in me being more productive, etc. - which I know is not the point. But what am I to do? I gave up the sweets. We're now a day and a half in, and based on the fact that I can't think of anything except the joy that a doughnut or cookie or peice of cake gives me, I feel as though I made the right choice.

When did this happen??? When did I morph into Veruca Salt? If I was coming up with excuses, I could blame my workplace. There's always a treat or two floating around the office and I think sometime between Thanksgiving and Christmas I became accustomed to a daily treat and then two and then three. After that, well, then the day is kind of a wash, so I'll just have another one. I started working out again during this time and somehow, somewhere in my college level nutrition trained brain I convinced myself that 30-45 minutes of cardio burns somwhere around 2500 calories a day on a person with my frame. Turns out I was wrong. So, with the exception of the week I had the stomach flu, I've been, well, frankly, I've been a glutton. I'm paying for it. When Cadbury Creme Eggs start making a splash in Wal-Mart, I think my head is going to explode. We'll see.