Frustration

How hard is to commit to something and stick with it? I mean, really? Something that matters. Like your health...

My job, compared to most things, is fairly easy. I'll admit it. I don't have all that much to complain about. I have a couple of times a year that are hard and busy, but most of the time, I can get it done without problem. The balance of someone's life is never in my hands, and I'm rarely the person in charge of anything. Anything important, I mean. I don't get paid a ton for what I do, but I chose this because I love it. I love public health. And I love what I do, when I actually get to do it. I like feeling like I've made a difference in someone's life. Today, I took the time out of my schedule to stay late to teach a class. A weekly class. A weekly weight loss class. A free weekly weight loss class with incentive provided for participants if they keep up with it. There are 23 people enrolled in this class. 3 showed up. In the world of lifestyle and behavior changes, they are failing. Is that my fault? What am I supposed to do? I can not hold their hand and make them do anything. Nor do I feel like that's my job. I give you the tools, you make the change. That was the deal from the beginning...

...but, honestly, if you can't hang with me for a mere four months with prizes included, how the hell do you ever expect to be successful after this is all done with?

I saw one of my 'drop outs' at the grocery store before class, when I was picking up the fruit tray for class. She told me she's just, you know, lost motivation. Her cart was filled with Little Debbies and potato chips. This is a woman who told me 4 weeks ago that she couldn't get health insurance because of her weight and the problems associated with it.

Is that not supposed to piss me off? I am a LIBERAL democrat. I am 100% for nationalized health care. I think the risks are worth the fact that the millions of uninsured Americans who can't get health care right now would be able to. Hell, I even think illegal immigrants should get it. Because a communicable disease doesn't give a shit if you have a green card. But this woman who refuses to change her behavior would get it. It's not fair.
(please, no hate comments about that last part. I have my views, you have yours. You're not going to talk me out of them)

And how am I supposed to explain this to the people in Chapel Hill who have provided everything for this? The class is part of a study through UNC and the CDC... statistically, what three people do, unless they are part of a population of six, don't really matter for much.

Today, my job is hard. Because it's 7:45 and I just got off work and I didn't change a thing. Which is the whole reason I do this.